Signage of the Apocalypse

I’ve always been fascinated by signage. It must have something to do with working with the English language for a living. I sometimes have trouble being concise with a 1,000 word limit (and I absolutely dread writing headlines) - so I can only imagine what it would be like to be limited to just a word or two.

Or no words at all - check out the Stick Figures in Peril pool at Flickr.

(As an aside, I’ve finally set up my own Flickr account, but it’s mostly boring family vacation images, and I’ve set most of those as “family only” - so enjoy the baboons and sunsets. My kids don’t need to be on the general internet.)

For those who also appreciate a good signage puzzler, I highly recommend the book Deep Time by Gregory Benford. It’s a fascinating look at creating messages that transcend time, language and even species. I was floored by the discussion of creating warning message to mark a nuclear waste site that would be dangerous for 10,000 years.

Where was I? Right, signage. I’m not pedantic about it (see Joe Clark on my local cheese shop, or his hate-on for arial photo group - both of which are highly entertaining, but not my personal vexation.) I’m merely bemused.

Over the course of the years, I’ve collected a few signage anecdotes that might be worth sharing. I thought about spilling them all at once, but I think I’ll let them trickle instead, as I’ve been doing with my last three items in the “Identical Twins” series. Plus, stretching them out will help me avoid embarassing post gaps like the one this week.

I make no claims to originality on these - someone is sure to have blogged them first - but here they are regardless.

Signage of the Apocalypse #1: Flame On!

My sister and I have both been captivated by this peculiar Toronto sign, which adorns the Peace Garden outside Toronto City Hall. (Apologies for the crappy picture quality; I forgot my camera and had to snap it with the cam in my Palm Pilot.)

Forgiving the lack of punctuation, I love its sturdy, timeless look and simple message: CAUTION ETERNAL FLAME.

You’ve been warned!

But what’s so striking about that text is the decision to include the adjective. Is an eternal flame more dangerous than a normal flame? I’d say no, it’s probably less dangerous, because it’s always been there and always will be.

What you really need to watch out for are the Completely Random Flames - ones that suddenly spring up out of nowhere, like at the Fire Swamp in The Princess Bride (did you notice that Buttercup catches fire even though the flame is three feet away?)

I’m told City Hall also has Rodents of Unusual Size, but they’re most often found inside the building.

Posted by: Paul Gorbould | 08-23-2006 | 01:08 PM
Posted in: Apocalypse signs