gor[b] Paul Gorbould: Words and Pictures

Naming conventions

As you might have read, the top baby names for 2006 are Emma and Aidan.

The top 100 list was compiled by BabyCenter.com Most of the names are pretty conventional, but there are a few unusual names on the list.

For boys, there's Caden (#13, but that includes 32 spelling variations) and Landon (#32 - Highway to Heaven fans?); for girls, Madison has reached #2, while Nevaeh is #89 ("heaven" spelled backwards - but isn't that a devil worship trick?).

There are some silly trends toward inventive spellings (Y instead of I, adding a silent H or an apostrophe.) And there are quite a few celebrity-inspired choices, at least for girls: Hailey (#10, thanks to Eminem despite the spelling?), Addison #26 (presumably after the Grey's Anatomy gynecologist) and Camryn (#64 - surely this isn't an ode to Ms. Manheim, is it?!?)

Anyhow, my own children are way ahead of the curve. At ages five and three, they have already decided on the names of their future children.

The names of my future grandchildren are:

Five-year-old:
- Bubble (girl)
- Joe (boy)

Three-year-old:
- Cookie (girl)
- Noo Noo (boy)

Ha! You won't find those names in the top ten (although Joseph currently comes in a a meagre #31.) Full marks for creativity.

All going well, my girls will grow up to be rich and famous, and by 2025 Bubble and Noo Noo will be the Emmas and Aidens of their era. At least, that's one theory - if naming trends interest you, be sure to read Freakonomics authors Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner's pieces Trading Up: Where do baby names come from? (answer: they come from poor people copying rich people) as well as A Roshanda by Any Other Name: How do babies with super-black names fare? (answer: not as well as people with non-black names, but it's not because of the names.)

Of course, by then people will be spelling them Khoock'y and Nieuh-Nieuh. But we'll all know who started the ball rolling!