Resurrections
A little bit of public shaming can go a long way.
A week ago I did a little bit of technical housekeeping, a mild closet-cleaning of my blogroll.
Nothing major - just pruning the dead and dying branches. I considered just doing it, not blogging about it, but then I figured there's nothing wrong with sending some props to the fallen. Plus I had nothing interesting to say, so I posted a little blurb (what Ouimet once referred to as Boring Administrative Notes.)
Well, I have the Lazarus touch, or something.
My first victim, Sinister Dan, suddenly came out with a shiny new WordPress blog, full of the irascible insight, political poignancy and grumpy goodness I've come to know and love (in an abusive sort of way.)
His latest offering of wit and self-admonition is, like Congresswoman Katherine Harris' breasts, equally attractive and repellent.
Time to put him back on the blogroll - and not just because I'm on his. (But it helps.)
Then there's fellow CBC'er Dan Misener, who I put on warning for not posting in a month. Sure enough, he's back at it too, with three posts this week. Give him a visit too. I should go visit him too, actually - one of the few CBC bloggers I'm not in touch with.
My "influence" (read: coincidence for which I claim credit) is not restricted to the faltering alone. I added active blogger Peter Janes to my blogroll, and he responded with a public shaming.
His main complaint: "If this sort of thing keeps up I’ll have to change my 'theatre bio' from 'writes an unpopular weblog' to 'writes an only slightly unpopular weblog'."
And then there's Joe Mahoney. Vowing to steal all my ideas from now on (which is, in turn, the worst idea ever) Joe whipped up a Great Purge of his own, much bloodier than my own.
Glad to see some survivors, and even some that have come back from the dead.
Speaking of resurrections... here are two completely kooky religious items I came across on the internet this week. No idea what to do with them, so let's put 'em here.
The Brick Testament is the complete Bible... as acted out by Lego men.
It comes complete with all that biblical nastiness, too - adultery and beheddings galore.
Then there are the Armor of God PJs, pajamas "inspired by Ephesians 6:10-18".
Now your little ones can look like little crusaders and smite heathens in their sleep!
I recently started taking my kids to Sunday school (more on that later), but this stuff sort of creeps me out.
Nothing wrong with teaching kids about Jesus, but just I can't picture this being the sort of thing He was talking about.
Inside my mind
Like many at CBC, I've developed an unexpected paranoia about CTV.
The most recent, and craziest example: This poster for The Phantom of the Opera, coming to the Princess of Wales Theatre.
It's just me that sees it down there at the bottom, right? I think I've been listening to too much music of the night.
GUN shy
My colleague Vivian is, like Mike Brady, busy bringing up three lovely boys.
Like most boys, they love their video games. Like most moms, Vivan does not.
But, being exceedingly fair and rational, she's making an effort at informed compromise - walking the line between being a schoolmarmish hardass and raising little axe murderers.
The latest challenge to this equilibrium was the please-mom-I-gotta-have-it request from Lucas, the eldest, for the GameCube game GUN.
GUN is a Wild West gunfighting game, where you walk around shooting people to avenge your murdered father. "Experience the brutality, greed, and lust that was the West," says the website (which actually asks for your date of birth before you can even enter).
Now, Lucas is a good kid with good judgement, and explained that while the game has a Mature rating, it's pretty much like a lot of other games out there. Vivian hemmed and hawed, and in the end allowed the purchase, with some misgivings, and some caveats.
The game was not to be played in front of Lucas' younger brothers. And since it has a slightly gruesome cover, it was not to be left lying around the living room either.
Well, eventually it DID get left lying around, and Lucas got an earful. The next day, the game packaging had been redone, and this was left lying around the living room.
He'd even mocked up a little circle to stick on the centre of the CD itself. I particularly like the game feature "being respectful!" (Lucas branding the game LucasArts was clever too.)
Of course, I may have inadvertently ruined it for Lucas by offhandedly mentioning that the game had been boycotted by the Association for American Indian Development. Seems they weren't particularly amused by the game goal of "slaughtering" and "scalping" as many Apaches as possible. ("What's next, the Civil War era game where "The Hero" must capture and lynch runaway slaves?" the petition reads.)
I have to say, the boy in me sees the awesome graphics from this game and really wants to try playing it. In fact, I nearly rented it once, when it first came out.
But then the dad in me sees the trailers and recoils in horror (the first one features a recitation of the Lord's Prayer, followed by someone getting a bullet in the brain. Another gets a pickaxe in the face, and then there's a very splattery scalp removal.) I have a harder and harder time remembering why I used to think this stuff was cool.
Sorry, Lucas. My intention with this post was to highlight your cleverness and sense of humour, not get your game repossessed. My inner dad has betrayed us both.
Just be glad your mom asked me after you got it.
Dumb animals
A few days ago, we took down our myriad Christmas decorations. Seemed a bit soon, but they really were excessive this year.
"Bah humbug," I said.
"The house is naked!" our three-year-old said.
"Carry these boxes," my wife said.
Anyhow, I was removing our second tree, which was on our front porch, when I noticed this ornament on the ground.
Or, half-ornament. Some creature had pulled it off the tree and EATEN half of it.
It might be obvious to you that this is not a real apple.
You may notice that it is, in fact, a piece of styrofoam covered in gold paint.
You might think that after a bite or two, said animal might have concluded it was not in fact good to eat.
But no, they ate a full half of the ornament before abandoning it.
"Can't be worse than rice cakes," my wife said.
Bascitbol
I'm off to see the Raptors take on the Atlanta Hawks tonight. And, like any hoops fan, I'm presented with a serious pre-game question: what to wear?
See, I do own a Raptors jersey. Two, actually. The problem is with the names on the back: Charlie Villanueva (traded to Milwaukee for T.J. Ford) and Vince Carter (traded to New Jersey for a bag of gym socks).
And of course, the Raps have switched their colour scheme from purple to red, accentuating my out-of-fashionness. Team uniforms are a model of planned obsolesence, like iPods (except you can't hide them in your pocket.)
But I've found a solution for tonight's wardrobe malfunction.
Last year, my daughter (then four) decided to design a T-shirt for me with a basketball theme. And, though I've yet to wear it out of the house, I love it.
The "BASCITBOL" shirt features a game between four teams she dreamt up: the Tigers (TiGRS), the Polar Bears (POLRBARS), the Butterflies (BUtRFLiS) and the Polkadots (POCAbotS).
[Anyone who doesn't like the name Raptors should be glad my daughter didn't win the naming contest. Though the Toronto Polkadots has a certain ring to it....]
Below this scoreboard is a scene of half a dozen basketball players leaping for the ball. Some of the details really made my day:
- There are six little guys flailing around, plus one guy who is an absolute giant, coloured black. She's never heard of Shaq, so I think it's an attempt at drawing Chris Bosh. He's clearly dominating, which is cool. I wish I could show it to him.
- The players actually have jerseys with basketball players shooting the rock on them.
- On two of the guys, including the giant, she attempted to draw bums between their legs. But the end result looks like very generous... um... well, what Chuck Swirsky calls "onions."
I'm currently wearing this T-shirt at work, underneath a golf shirt. But I think I'll have a couple of beers then and flaunt it proudly at the game. Onions, baby!
Foreign Affairs: Sexier than ever!
Wow, there's a first.
Our office boasts a tiny TV that is usually, and silently, tuned to CBC-TV or Newsworld (er, unless there's a big game on…)
Today's cabinet shuffle was nattering away in the background, when all of a sudden jaws dropped and all the men (then everyone else) gathered 'round. They've appointed a hottie!
Said hottie: Helena Guergis, now member of the Privy Council, secretary of state for foreign affairs and international trade and sport.
And, as one fellow beside me said, "of my heart."
The press has already made much of the rugged good looks of bachelor Minister of Foreign affairs Peter Mackay. And now this! Yowza. Watch out, diplomatic world. Canada is turning up the heat.
(Oh, apparently it's pronounced "DZHOR-dzhis" - not "gorgeous", unfortunately. I couldn't find any sources indicating Ms. Guergis' marital status, but I'm betting it won't be long before someone takes an interest. Either way, Canada's gonna have the sexiest foreign ministry in the developed world. Good on us.)
Belinda who?
For further entertainment, be sure to read the Wikipedia entry on Ms. Guergis.
According to that source, her credentials include running a bed and bath gift shop at a mall in Angus, and winning the Miss Huronia Pageant. After winning, she apparently found out that she had paid four times the actually entry fee, and successfully sued the pageant administrator for, among other things, the cost of her gown. Said administrator claims Guergis made death threats so scary that she had a miscarriage.
Sadly, Guergis later lost Miss Oktoberfest and the Canadian Search for Miss Universe, and had to settle for politics.
Highlights of her political career as include telling Trinity-Spadina voters she was for same-sex marriage (2003), then telling Simcoe-Grey voters she's against it (2004) and voting against it in 2005.
That year she also tabled a private member's bill banning MPs from crossing the floor. The next year, she went to work for parliamentary secretary David Emerson, fresh off of his trip across the floor.
(According to her website, "A hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does another.")
So far the press really doesn't seem to know what to make of this appointment. The Globe story, at least at the time of this post, had one-paragraph descriptions for almost all the ministers, but for Guergis, there's a blank line.
(The next iteration focused only on ministers, and she was removed entirely. And it's the first time I've seen the new CTVglobemedia logo down at the bottom… yuck.)
By the way, what on earth is this photo they have on Rona Ambrose? To me, it looks for all the world like someone aiming a sniper rifle at her.
Perhaps that's how they got her out of the environment ministry hot seat. She's moving on to intergovernmental affairs, western economic diversification, and the Privy Council.
I have no idea what any of those things are, but that may not be a prerequisite.
Out with the old
A brief housekeeping note: I'm cleaning out the blogroll, and it's time to purge those who have broken faith.
So:
- Farewell to Sinister Dan's The Reasonable Ego (great writing, but it stalled last March)
- Arrivederci to CJ's bh'log (no tears: she's now getting paid to blog for FoodTV)
- Buh bye to Florence Hwang (deleted - we barely knew ye!)
And I'm putting these CBC bloggers on notice:
Publish or perish, friends!
A few other updates: Tod Maffin's link moves from his disused personal blog to his tech column; I've added Joe Clark's Fawny and Peter Janes' Petroglyphs.
As a rule, I only link to lesser-known, non-commercial blogs that are regularly updated, and that I regularly read. While I often read them, I don't think I need to link to smart guys like Neil Gaiman and Douglas Rushkoff and Clive Thompson and Cory Doctorow. Nor do I bother blogrolling the ubiquitous Boing Boing, or sites I read for fun, like Daily Snopes or Eric Karabell's wonderful fantasy sports blog.
No shortage of stuff to read. Still, if you've got a blog I should be reading, or a link I'd enjoy, please let me know about it!
Naming conventions
As you might have read, the top baby names for 2006 are Emma and Aidan.
The top 100 list was compiled by BabyCenter.com Most of the names are pretty conventional, but there are a few unusual names on the list.
For boys, there's Caden (#13, but that includes 32 spelling variations) and Landon (#32 - Highway to Heaven fans?); for girls, Madison has reached #2, while Nevaeh is #89 ("heaven" spelled backwards - but isn't that a devil worship trick?).
There are some silly trends toward inventive spellings (Y instead of I, adding a silent H or an apostrophe.) And there are quite a few celebrity-inspired choices, at least for girls: Hailey (#10, thanks to Eminem despite the spelling?), Addison #26 (presumably after the Grey's Anatomy gynecologist) and Camryn (#64 - surely this isn't an ode to Ms. Manheim, is it?!?)
Anyhow, my own children are way ahead of the curve. At ages five and three, they have already decided on the names of their future children.
The names of my future grandchildren are:
Five-year-old:
- Bubble (girl)
- Joe (boy)Three-year-old:
- Cookie (girl)
- Noo Noo (boy)
Ha! You won't find those names in the top ten (although Joseph currently comes in a a meagre #31.) Full marks for creativity.
All going well, my girls will grow up to be rich and famous, and by 2025 Bubble and Noo Noo will be the Emmas and Aidens of their era. At least, that's one theory - if naming trends interest you, be sure to read Freakonomics authors Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner's pieces Trading Up: Where do baby names come from? (answer: they come from poor people copying rich people) as well as A Roshanda by Any Other Name: How do babies with super-black names fare? (answer: not as well as people with non-black names, but it's not because of the names.)
Of course, by then people will be spelling them Khoock'y and Nieuh-Nieuh. But we'll all know who started the ball rolling!
Spent!
My holidays are finally, successfully over.
A good time was had by all, with the notable exception of my wallet (left).
I'm normally not much of a shopper, but this holiday season I actually wore out both my wallet (ripped and worn, and I've yet to find a proper replacement - I'll be stuck with it forever, so I'm very particular about the compartments and leather) and my debit card (which now works in only about 50 per cent of locations, probably due to the white patch on the magnetic strip.)
Here's a photo of the offending item. You'll notice it is bristling with receipts and instabank statements, but bereft of cash. It does, however, contain $1.80 in Canadian Tire money and almost $8 in small change. So I can jingle all the way back to work.
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