15 « February « 2007

15Feb/074

Commuting by Numbers

Sometimes when I'm commuting to and from work, and the streetcar is so packed I that I can't read, I just count stuff. Schools, traffic lights, crazy people, whatever - it helps pass the time.

I thought it might be interesting to blog the list, so here it is thus far. There will no doubt be more counting coming eventually - and not just from me. I've challenged some of my fellow bloggers in other parts of Canada to do the same. The regional comparisons might be rather interesting.

And of course, I'd love to hear from you! Count up something from this list on your own commute - or make your own categories. Let me know, and I'll count them. Here we go:

Commuter: Paul Gorbould
Location: Downtown Toronto
Commuting time: 45 minutes
Route: Queen/King Streets, via streetcar

Billboards: 36 (48/hr)
Neon signs: 48 (64/hr) [pictures]
Poster-type ads: 291 (388/hr)
Public art installations: 16 (21.3/hr)
Indian restaurants: 4 (5.3/hr)
Pizza places: 9 (12/hr)
Coffee shops: 19 (25.3/hr)
Condos under construction: 14 (18.7/hr)
Cows: 0 (0/hr)
Parks: 9 (12/hr)
Really hot women: 21 (28/hr)
Panhandlers: 3 (4/hr)
Churches: 7 (9.3/hr)
Strip clubs: 1 (1.3/hr)
Street cars: 17 (22.7/hr)
Car dealers: 4 (5.3/hr)
Gas stations: 0 (0/hr)
Traffic lights: 14 (18.7/hr)

If you really care what my criteria were for what constitutes a park or a hot woman, I can tell you, but I don't think it matters much. [For the record: A park had to have some trees and enough grass to play frisbee on. Counting women is embarrassingly crass, and explaining what I consider hot would only make things worse. Use your imagination.]

He *really* loves to count So, there's round one. I'm awaiting results from the ragtag fugitive fleet of bloggers I've challenged to do likewise: Sinister Dan in New Brunswick, MC in Southern Ontario, Joe in the 'burbs, Tod in Vancouver. John in Newfoundland informed me that a St. John's "commute" takes five minutes (but 20 in "rush hour") so he's off the hook.

How about you? Anyone else love to count?

Filed under: Commuting, Toronto 4 Comments

15Feb/071

Happy Fun Bear

Happy Fun Bear I have a black hole in my C.V., a lost year spent working on a children's TV show that never made it to air. Too bad, it was very 2.0, way ahead of its time. Long story.

Anyhow, I was deleting old files from my Palm Pilot the other day and came across this little oddity. One of the show's conceits was that it was to be a pirate broadcast, hacked into CBC's regularly scheduled and overly-good-for-you kids programming.

The working title for the lame show we'd interrupt was "Happy Fun Bear." Here's what I scribbled down for the theme song.

Happy Fun Bear

He's the nicest bear that you'll ever meet,
He's the teacher's pet and his room is neat,
He helps old ladies cross the street,
Hooray! for Happy Fun Bear.

Fun Bear does his best in school,
He helps kids learn the golden rule,
So come along, we know that you'll
say Hooray! for Happy Fun Bear.

Who wouldn't want to hack into that crap?

I even had a little tune for it, which is now stuck in my head (and mine alone, forever. Sometimes I wonder if one day I'll be humming it to my grandkids, and they'll look at me with sad sympathy... Sure you worked on a kids show, gramps. Sure you did.)

Damn you, Happy Fun Bear!