Cutting edge

Have you noticed how much the grille of a Ford Fusion looks like the grille of a Gillette Fusion?

I thought this was a gimmick to make the car look distinctive and, er, “sharp.” But it looks like Ford is rolling out the gimmick to the rest of the line. Witness the new Ford Edge (see, now they’re actually naming the car after a razor):

Why razors? Sexy, smooth and dangerous? (Not really. T-shaped razors like these are known as “safety razors” and are decidedly un-dangerous.) Still, I suppose it’s sexier than designing a car to look like a toothbrush or Q-Tip.

It goes beyond safety razors, though. If you want the luxury of power, you’ll have to upgrade to an SUV. The GMC Envoy’s face looks a lot like that of a single-foil electric shaver:

Those seeking even more comfort can look to the Range Rover, the Remington Microscreen of the car world:

And in case you are wondering, Dodge also has a concept car called the Dodge Razor. You might notice it’s the same colour as the Gillette Fusion razor.

Oddly, the razor/car theme isn’t a two-way deal; there are no razors designed to look like car mufflers or windshield wipers, and I couldn’t think of any razors named after cars (though there is the Mach 3 Turbo.) Too bad - I’d probably buy a Schick Mustang or a Gillette Stingray.

Sadly, I’d probably buy anything they associated with something cool. Last year, when my trusty Philishave finally died, I went razor shopping. They all looked the same, except you add $50 for every piece that wiggles.

But the salesman sealed the deal on a new Philishave 8894 by casually mentioning that it was known in the industry as the “James Bond razor.” Seems 007 was seen using one in one of the recent Bond flicks (dunno which one, but who cares?) Sold!

Here’s the appalling description that Amazon is using to sell the James Bond Razor:

Licensed to shave closely and painlessly, this cord/cordless electric shaver is designated Norelco’s James Bond model not only because it’s high-tech but also because its heads can be adjusted to suit the sensitivity of 00-anyone’s skin. The shaver has a comfort-control dial that varies the spring and pressure of the three floating heads through nine settings. Roger Moore might opt for a gentle setting, while Sean Connery surely would choose a firmer setting–and novices to grizzled veterans can please their faces as well.

I’m so very, very ashamed. But smoooooooth, ladies!

Posted by: Paul Gorbould | 02-04-2007 | 09:02 PM
Posted in: Blather