Extreme buns

If it weren’t for a last-minute find at the cafe at the Riverdale Farm, this would have been my first Easter without having a hot cross bun.

Everyone knows hot cross buns, right? Those soft, sweet, raisin-filled buns they trot out for Easter, with a “cross” that looks more like a “plus sign” welded onto the top with something that looks like icing but tastes like nothing at all?

I like these buns. Of course, I like raisin toast, and anything with flour or sugar in it, so it’s no big surprise. My mom made or purchased the buns for us each year when I was a kid; as an adult I usually grab a bag or two of generic grocery store hot cross buns - hell, they go on sale around Valentine’s Day (I presume they bake new batches as Easter approaches, but I should probably check the tags.)

In recent years, the kindly and old fashioned neighbour of my inlaws has sent a few home made buns our way, but now that my wife and I are raising two ravenous-yet-finicky beasts, perhaps she’s given up. So it looked like this year would be bun-free.

I was shopping at a high-end supermarket on the Danforth on Saturday and couldn’t find any, but then noticed a pack of six Ace Bakery hot cross buns that looked really delicious. Then I noticed the price: $6.99! And the buns were the size of a silver dollar. At that price, I presumed they were made with actually pieces of Christ’s cross, but I still left them on the shelf. What ever happened to “one a penny, two a penny?”

I’m not the only one who had bun trouble this year.

My sister, who has a new job, went shopping at the predominantly Jewish supermarket near her workplace. Slinking along amongst the Passover food shoppers, she was too embarassed to ask if they had gentile pastries.

My mother finally found somewhere that sold them, and when she asked for them at the bakery counter, she was presented with the flabbergasting, heretical question, “With or without chocolate chips?” Is nothing sacred?

Actually, it’s their very sacredness that makes me surprised you can even offer non-secular baked goods in this day and age. The cross has been removed from most public places, so why are we still able to mark our buns with them?

(In some places, you can’t. Today I found that in recent years, hot cross buns have been banned in some schools in England, and are not served at schools in York for - not banned, just removed for “no particular reason.”)

To keep them on the market, I wouldn’t be shocked to see their name changed to something more neutral, like “Hot Spring Buns.” Or maybe that “cross” could be formally changed to another character, like “Hot Plus Buns”, or “Hot X Buns”.

Of course, they’d be more marketable as “Xtreme Buns”. Which would make a good workout video title, too.

Posted by: Paul Gorbould | 04-10-2007 | 01:04 PM
Posted in: Blather