gor[b] Paul Gorbould: Words and Pictures

Screw the west

As the 2008 NBA All-Star game draws near, I'm doing what I can to improve the fortunes of our Eastern Conference. Unfortunately that doesn't mean voting for all five of the Raptors nominated. With the exception of perennially worthy Chris Bosh (check out his hilarious sales pitch!) I just don't see the other four worth a nod - Bargnani hasn't played well, Ford is hurt (badly, I get the feeling), and Kapono and Parker should be there for the 3 point contest only.

The Eastern Conference is already on the rise, with Boston dominating, Detroit powerful as always and Orlando moving on up. So here's my voting strategy: Screw the Western Conference!

Sure, any chump could cast their ballots for jokers like Kobe, Yao, Duncan and Melo - hell, you don't have to follow hoops to know those guys. No, I say the best thing to do is to cast a LOT of votes for the people least likely to beat the Eastern Conference players. Basically, their Fords and Kaponos.

How about Argentinian rookie sensation Luis Scola and his 7.4 points a game? Or one-name-wonder Nene, who has missed all but eight games so far this year? Erick Dampier looks good, earning barely 20 minutes a night. At guard, I went with cueball Jarrett Jack and mediocre Monta Ellis, who you wouldn't have heard of unless you play fantasy basketball and are looking for injury fill-ins. I could've pushed for the injured Randy Foye and Mike Bibby, but they might actually get better, and if they don't they no doubt replace them with someone useful.

Unfortunately, no matter how many times I vote, I can't take away votes from guys like Kobe and Yao. To surpass them, I need approximately 1 million of you to vote for Scola and Nene. So get voting, and teach the west a lesson!