You may recall (if you haven’t given up on my blogging of late - sorry) that I have a bug in my ear about billboards, particularly the petty little guerre between CTV and CBC in the vicinity of the CBC’s Toronto HQ. CTV had the foresight to buy up all the avails around the Death Star, so we’re constantly staring at the competition.
Well, seems turnabout is fair play. This morning I noticed this airbrushed ad being completed a half block from the CHUM-City building, which with City’s recent purchase has became a cornerstone of CTVglobemedia.
Yes, that’s the nerdy, iconic promo shot for the new CBC series Sophie, which premieres Wednesday on CBC. The large, hand-painted billboard sits just east of the CHUM-City parking lot at Queen & Duncan Streets. Yet another “f*** you” billboard - and if you squint your eyes a little, it sort of looks like Sophie is flipping the bird.
[No idea if this street level ad is legal (unlike the Strombo one) - but I bet our friend Rami would know. I’m guessing it counts as a mural, though technically it’s painted on a flat surface bolted to the wall, so it’s likely kosher. At least there’s an artist involved.]
I can’t vouch for the show, but it’s nice to see our communications folks fighting back, I guess.
Update: According to Rami, the painted sign has no permit and is “totally illegal”.
I’m on a roll with the signage thing - more here - though it would appear my summer reading comes in a much shorter format than other CBC bloggers. I’ve been focusing on CBC signs for the past week, but let’s branch out to some signs just outside Fort Dork.
You may recall that there’s a giant pit just to the east of the CBC’s Toronto HQ. It’s part of the construction of the new Ritz-Carlton hotel and RBC Centre office tower at Wellington and Simcoe streets. (I’ve been snapping some photos along the way and putting them in a Flickr folder - maybe in two years I can create a time-lapse animated .gif, or something.)
Construction is apparently moving apace, despite a strike that nobody noticed from the Laborers’ International Union of North America (L.I.U.N.A. Local 506). That strike consisted of a chain across the entrance way for a few days - no picketers, no website, no concerts by the Barenaked Ladies.
Anyhow, what interests me about this site at the moment is the “branding” on the construction hoarding that surrounds the east end of the site. The RBC Centre is being branded not as “the first new Toronto office tower in a decade”, or “a really tall, expensive container for bankers to roll around in your money”, but something more homey - and ridiculous.
Apparently this is not a building. It’s your new best friend.
It claims to be:
- A building with a work/life balance
- A building that pays its way
- A building comfortable in its own skin
- A building with a conscience
- A building that works for employees
- A building that is breaking ground
- A building that makes an impression
WTF? Is this building actually alive, with blood and emotions and some sort of benign Hal 9000 brain? Are they building it not with jackhammers and concrete and steel, but with spoonfuls of love, group hugs and fluffy bunnies?
Yeah, I get the idea. Personalize the space, appeal to our softer instincts, make it sound as different as possible from the cold, cash-driven sort of banking towers they fly planes into. But come on - it’s an office tower, not a loft, or mom’s house, or a hippy commune.
This sort of cloying anthropomorphism really burns my britches. Anyone who has kids knows what I’m talking about - it’s cute for a while, when little Sally says “that car is happy” or “the sky is crying.” But last week my daughter asked me, “why does the toilet like to eat poo and drink pee?” Yeargh!
If the RBC Centre wants to pretend it’s your cousin, fine. Here are my suggestions for construction hoarding slogans:
- A building that will take out your garbage
- A building that loves long walks on the beach
- A building that would open its windows if they weren’t sealed shut
- A building with an extensive shoe collection
- A building that is a little afraid of lightning
- A building with a degree from Yale
- A building that once had a tryout for the Ti-Cats
- A building with erectile dysfunction
- A building that served three years in the National Guard
- A building that feels guilty when birds hit it
- A building that thinks your weight is just fine
- A building that took a year off to “find itself”
- A building that promises not to shed large pieces of marble
So, what human trait describes the building you work in? (Mine likes to eat poo.)
This has gone too far.
For a few weeks each summer, my CBC Toronto office is blessed with the sound of prepubescent girls screaming in rapture outside the Canadian Idol corral at the convention centre across the street. In addition to Kelly Clarkson brand tube tops and bristol board signs saying “Marry me Ben”, there’s usually a van, a tent, a PA system and a carnival barker trying to whip the girls into a lather. Until now, all that was across the street - a minor nuisance akin to the guy who plays (sic) bagpipes on Blue Jays days.
Yet now I see that signs for that wretched CTV show have crossed the No Man’s Land of Front Street, and are fluttering gaily right outside the CBC building, not 15′ from the front door. (Hat tip to Erich the Eagle-Eyed for noticing.)
Who the hell let that happen? Really, does nobody at CBC pay attention to advertising availabilities on our own front door? What’s next, Dr. Phil recycling bins for all CBC employees? Ghost Whisper screensavers?
Haven’t we complained enough about the CTV billboards across the road on John St.? Haven’t I created enough ridicule to make anyone care?
I think the only thing left for me to do is audition for Canadian Idol.
Hell, I could do it just by leaning out my office window.
As seen in basement of the CBC’s Toronto Broadcasting Centre, near the area where the props and design folks made their last stand.
Spotted in boardroom 7A113, right next to CBC Television senior management. They get French lessons there from time to time.
As seen outside the CBC-TV senior management offices. Until recently, this hallway was an ode to the 80s, with publicity photos of Mr. Dressup and Roy Bonisteel. The’ve finally got some new ones - and in lieu of actual old photos, they’ve made some new ones into black and white! Perhaps this process can be applied to the CBC Museum, too - just take some new signs and props and make them sepia, or colour the edges with lemon juice and a match.
The new mounting system looks a little bit temporary, though, doesn’t it? I’m pretty sure it’s Velcro.
Ottawa, the most dangerous city on Earth.
As seen on a publicity poster for The National.
(See what happens when you sit on a post too long? I prepared this a week ago, so I could fit it into my “theme week”, and now I read about it elsewhere. But it’s all good news.)
You may remember this giant fascia sign, from the corner of Front and Simcoe Streets by CBC’s Toronto offices.
You may also recall that this sign was illegal. (Above image courtesy of the Tea Makers, who pointed out that the sign was illegal and then pointed out that it was still up more than a year after the city ordered CBC to take it down.)
Well, finally, it’s gone.
See, the view from those windows is almost as good as before, if you don’t mind the tape.
The cynic in me says we should be embarassed this illegal sign went up in the first place, and doubly embarassed that it stayed up for a year after the 14-day cease-and-desist order from the city (and spending something like $140,000 to keep it there illegally.) Still, kudos to someone for biting the bullet and doing the right thing. Eventually.
Every day this week: CBC Signage of the Apocalypse! Why? To celebrate my blog’s first anniversary, and because I’m fascinated with signs. Why I’m starting on Wednesday? I don’t know. First up…
Spotted outside the John St. entrance to the CBC HQ in Toronto. This orange spraypainted line signfies:
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A little while back, Tod Maffin of the excellent Inside the CBC blog invited employees to take pictures of unusual signs at CBC locations.
Since nobody had posted any from CBC Toronto, I decided to shoot a few and upload them to my Flickr. You can see them in this set, or watch them as a slideshow. I’ve also installed a new plugin to let you browse them here, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to work. Plus, you’ll miss all my witty captions! So check ‘em out on the Flickr set if you are interested.
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