Apocalypse signs

20Apr/092

Leslieville signs, via my kids

Apparently my unhealthy fascination with signage is rubbing off on my kids - but their commentaries are much funnier than mine. Here's a sampling of their comments on signs in our neighbourhood:

Carbon Computing sign

Daughter: "Daddy, look. A frying pan with a smile!"

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Tattoo parlour

Daughter, walking past this untitled tattoo parlour on Queen St. (its sign used to proclaim it "Domain of Pain") and peering in at all the designs up on the wall:

"Ooooh, a sticker shop! I'm definitely going there when I get older."

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Jillyâ€™s strip club sign

Five-year-old, frowning at the hussy on the left as we drive past this strip joint:

"Why is that woman pulling up her shirt? She should do something else. Like read a book!"

Filed under: Apocalypse signs, Kids 2 Comments

9Apr/091

Stuck on CBC

CBC Toronto has gone sticker crazy. You know those giant, peel-off vinyl graphics you see everywhere these days? Well, CBC has bought in.

It seems every flat surface of the Broadcasting Centre, inside and out, is in the process of being tarted up with giant ads sporting CBC personalities and shows. The atrium looks like the hood of a NASCAR vehicle. Even the newsroom is getting plastered - though for all those interior uses, I'm not quite sure who we're supposed to be advertising to. Ourselves?

A few theories:Â Perhaps vinyl is suddenly cheap. Maybe it's good old fashioned end-of-fiscal spending, or new fiscal. Or perhaps we can't afford billboards anymore. Or we're trying to stay one step ahead of Rami Tabello.

With as many as 800 people heading out the door, perhaps temporary promotions are considered wise. Conversely, there's a rumour that if you make it onto a sticker, your job is safe - though that didn't help Steven and Chris.

With the peel-off craze nearing its peak, I can just tell what's coming next: Rex Murphy Fatheads!

Rex Murphy Fathead sticker

At least they aren't scratch 'n sniff.

Check out a sampling of the plasterings here - bigger versions on Flickr, with comments.

Filed under: Apocalypse signs, CBC 1 Comment

24Sep/081

The other CBC

My friend Chris MacDonald, he of The Business Ethics Blog, was visiting Duke University a few days ago and spotted this other CBC sig, which he snapped and sent my way:

Carolina Behavioural Care

Chris wonders if it's merely coincidence that the other CBC is a psychiatric institute? There are certainly times when people in both places "face problems that require professional evaluation, counseling or other therapy. " I smell a partnership.

Of course there are many other CBC's than just Canada's public broadcaster. I certainly wouldn't mind a work exchange with the Caribbean Broadcasting Corporation,Â and respect the Children's Book Council. And if you check Wikipedia's CBCs you'll find everything from Cipher Block Chaining to the Christmas Bird Count to the Christian Brothers College. Can't say I'm a huge fan of Claw Boys Claw, though. I'll stick with my CBC after all.

Filed under: Apocalypse signs, CBC 1 Comment

15Aug/080

Signs of the (Mari)times

I just returned from a relaxing week in rural Nova Scotia, and thought I'd do a Maritime edition of my Signage of the Apocalypse series. Also available on my Flickr set. Enjoy!

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Spotted at the parking lot of the Joggins Fossil Cliffs, on the Bay of Fundy - the rocks may be old, but the thinking isn't. There were several of these spaces near the entrance to the interpretive centre (right up front, by the wheelchair parking.)

No vehicles parked in them, though.

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Seen outside the Union Church in West Tatamagouche, Nova Scotia. You know, in case the meaning of "church" isn't clear.

I suppose they eventually they meet in the cemetery, too. Or in heaven. Dual purpose sign.

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I just can't get excited about this place.

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Nothing funny about this, just quaint and rather true. Though I would have paid good money to adjust the frickin' rain clouds.

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OK, this is really cool. My friend works at the Jost Winery, in Malagash, N.S. Not only do they have a good website, but they have the largest URL you've ever seen. They hired a surveyor to map out JOSTWINE.COM on an unused field behind the winery, and they plough it a couple of times a year. The letters must be a couple of hundred feet high each; above is a photo I took from the bottom middle tip of the "M" in ".COM". Despite the rural location, there are now quite a few jets flying overhead on their way to the posh Fox Harb'r Gold Resort & Spa. And of course, it can be seen from space via Google Maps. Behold below:

View Larger Map

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24Jul/083

Where credit is dew

I was waiting for a subway train the other day, and after a few minutes of sightlessly staring at the ads between the platforms, something occurred to me: Why do movie posters always devote so much space to the production credits?

Take a look at any movie poster (such as the one pictured here) and you'll see that up to a third of the space is devoted to listing the people who made the movie (I've outlined this in yellow.)

With the exception of the cast and possibly the director, I'm guessing nobody cares about any of these people or their involvement in the film.

Are you going to go see Get Smart because the Director of Photography was Dean Semler, A.C.S./A.S.C.? No? Well, Jimmy Miller was one of the six Executive Producers! And damn, if it doesn't have music by Trevor Rabin! Now you'll see it, right?

This is an advertising convention that has been around almost as long as the film business, although it seems to have gotten worse of late - check out some classic movie posters, and you'll see most of the credit space is devoted to those in front of the camera, not behind it. A quick pixel count shows the Get Smart poster is approximately 7% product title, 4% cast, and a whopping 30% production credits. Yikes. (At CBCNews.ca we're still lobbying to get bylines on big stories.)

Coke can as movie poster And it doesn't apply to anything but movies. Other posters don't credit the guy who designed the tread on your Nikes, or the people wrote the code for Windows Vista (OK, maybe they should remain nameless.) Even posters for TV shows focus on the actors, not the crew, even though most of the postitions are the same as those for a big screen production.

Imagine if all marketing devoted as much space to the people behind the scenes who you couldn't give a toss about.

Take Coke, for example (since I'm currently reading Max Barry's Syrup).

Here's what the Hollywood version of the can would look like.

A little space for the name of the product, a tiny space for what's in it, and a LOT of space for the people who designed the can and mixed the syrup.

Not useful, and not appealing. But apparently Hollywood doesn't agree. Vanity, maybe? Say it ain't so!

Filed under: Apocalypse signs 3 Comments

9Jan/080

Sophie’s choice location

You may recall (if you haven't given up on my blogging of late - sorry) that I have a bug in my ear about billboards, particularly the petty little guerre between CTV and CBC in the vicinity of the CBC's Toronto HQ. CTV had the foresight to buy up all the avails around the Death Star, so we're constantly staring at the competition.

Well, seems turnabout is fair play. This morning I noticed this airbrushed ad being completed a half block from the CHUM-City building, which with City's recent purchase has became a cornerstone of CTVglobemedia.

Sophie billboard at Queen & Duncan, Toronto

Yes, that's the nerdy, iconic promo shot for the new CBC series Sophie, which premieres Wednesday on CBC. The large, hand-painted billboard sits just east of the CHUM-City parking lot at Queen & Duncan Streets. Yet another "f*** you" billboard - and if you squint your eyes a little, it sort of looks like Sophie is flipping the bird.

[No idea if this street level ad is legal (unlike the Strombo one) - but I bet our friend Rami would know. I'm guessing it counts as a mural, though technically it's painted on a flat surface bolted to the wall, so it's likely kosher. At least there's an artist involved.]

I can't vouch for the show, but it's nice to see our communications folks fighting back, I guess.

Sophie and The City

Update: According to Rami, the painted sign has no permit and is "totally illegal".

Filed under: Apocalypse signs, CBC No Comments

3Aug/070

A building with issues

I'm on a roll with the signage thing - more here - though it would appear my summer reading comes in a much shorter format than other CBC bloggers. I've been focusing on CBC signs for the past week, but let's branch out to some signs just outside Fort Dork.

Construction hoarding around RBC centre

You may recall that there's a giant pit just to the east of the CBC's Toronto HQ. It's part of the construction of the new Ritz-Carlton hotel and RBC Centre office tower at Wellington and Simcoe streets. (I've been snapping some photos along the way and putting them in a Flickr folder - maybe in two years I can create a time-lapse animated .gif, or something.)

Construction is apparently moving apace, despite a strike that nobody noticed from the Laborers' International Union of North America (L.I.U.N.A. Local 506). That strike consisted of a chain across the entrance way for a few days - no picketers, no website, no concerts by the Barenaked Ladies.

Anyhow, what interests me about this site at the moment is the "branding" on the construction hoarding that surrounds the east end of the site. The RBC Centre is being branded not as "the first new Toronto office tower in a decade", or "a really tall, expensive container for bankers to roll around in your money", but something more homey - and ridiculous.

Apparently this is not a building. It's your new best friend.

RBC Centre construction diagram

It claims to be:

A building with a work/life balance
A building that pays its way
A building comfortable in its own skin
A building with a conscience
A building that works for employees
A building that is breaking ground
A building that makes an impression

WTF? Is this building actually alive, with blood and emotions and some sort of benign Hal 9000 brain? Are they building it not with jackhammers and concrete and steel, but with spoonfuls of love, group hugs and fluffy bunnies?

Yeah, I get the idea. Personalize the space, appeal to our softer instincts, make it sound as different as possible from the cold, cash-driven sort of banking towers they fly planes into. But come on - it's an office tower, not a loft, or mom's house, or a hippy commune.

RBC Centre construction halted

This sort of cloying anthropomorphism really burns my britches. Anyone who has kids knows what I'm talking about - it's cute for a while, when little Sally says "that car is happy" or "the sky is crying." But last week my daughter asked me, "why does the toilet like to eat poo and drink pee?" Yeargh!

If the RBC Centre wants to pretend it's your cousin, fine. Here are my suggestions for construction hoarding slogans:

A building that will take out your garbage
A building that loves long walks on the beach
A building that would open its windows if they weren't sealed shut
A building with an extensive shoe collection
A building that is a little afraid of lightning
A building with a degree from Yale
A building that once had a tryout for the Ti-Cats
A building with erectile dysfunction
A building that served three years in the National Guard
A building that feels guilty when birds hit it
A building that thinks your weight is just fine
A building that took a year off to "find itself"
A building that promises not to shed large pieces of marble

So, what human trait describes the building you work in? (Mine likes to eat poo.)

Filed under: Apocalypse signs, Toronto No Comments

1Aug/075

CTV signs on our side of the street

This has gone too far.

For a few weeks each summer, my CBC Toronto office is blessed with the sound of prepubescent girls screaming in rapture outside the Canadian Idol corral at the convention centre across the street. In addition to Kelly Clarkson brand tube tops and bristol board signs saying "Marry me Ben", there's usually a van, a tent, a PA system and a carnival barker trying to whip the girls into a lather. Until now, all that was across the street - a minor nuisance akin to the guy who plays (sic) bagpipes on Blue Jays days.

Yet now I see that signs for that wretched CTV show have crossed the No Man's Land of Front Street, and are fluttering gaily right outside the CBC building, not 15' from the front door. (Hat tip to Erich the Eagle-Eyed for noticing.)

Who the hell let that happen? Really, does nobody at CBC pay attention to advertising availabilities on our own front door? What's next, Dr. Phil recycling bins for all CBC employees? Ghost Whisper screensavers?

Haven't we complained enough about the CTV billboards across the road on John St.? Haven't I created enough ridicule to make anyone care?

CTV Canadian Idol flags outside the CBC HQ